The Things that Alcohol do
by ShinyPixieDust
Summary: Edward and Jasper go hunting and Alice and Emmett decide it's time to have some FUN with Bella! What will happen? Co written with piece-of-cake13
1. Chapter 1

The Things That Alcohol Do

A/N this is the officially the first story by Pieceofcake13 and all-things-nice together.

Roses are red

Violets are blue

We don't own this so

Please don't sue.

Set between the end of new moon and the beginning of eclipse. There are engaged even thought they aren't in the book.

Xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Bella POV

"Bye love, see you later. I won't be long it's just that Jasper and I are going hunting before Monday. Well be gone the weekend but Alice will take care of you." He seemed worried when his gaze met Emmett on the floor playing Mario cart but Edward was just over protective, probably worried that Emmett might glue me to the ceiling while he's gone. Good job Alice is supervising.

"Fine, go have some fun with annoyed grizzlies. Love you."

"Love you too"

He leaned into me to plant a passionate kiss on my lips. Emmett wolf-whistled behind us and we broke away to scowl at him for ruining our moment. He laughed at our faces and went back to his video game. This week had been extremely romantic for us. He never left my side for too long. The door closed quietly behind him as Edward let himself out. Suddenly Alice and Emmett sprang into action. Emmett grabbed me and sat me on a chair. Alice started jumping on the sofa. Esme would have stopped her by now but Carlisle, Rosalie and Esme were on a business trip and not back until Tuesday. Emmett holding my shoulders I gave him a questionable look. He just grinned. Alice disappeared into the kitchen and came back holding three large bottles of vodka except that two were pale red. I could only guess that it was diluted blood and vodka. She shoved the bottle towards me and said

"Drink"

Xoxoxoxoxxoxoxoxooxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Edward POV

It's has been only a couple of hours since I left my Bella when my phone started ringing. I pulled it out of my pocket and answered.

"elooooooo eddie poo I wuv you but I ............" uncontrollable giggling came from the other line. Was this my Bella or some crazed drunken idiot with the wrong number?

"Bella?"

"Yes" She sounded guilty. How has Emmett corrupted my innocent Bella this time?

"Bella what's Emmett done now?"

"Hey!?! Whys it always my fault? It was midget pixies idea." The voice in the background sounded slurred but it was obviously Emmett.

"Was not. And I'm not a midget I'm fun sized." Jasper heard the voice of his wife and came to listen into my conversation.

"Bellaaaa. Where are you and what the hell is going on?" I was worried now.

"Times up." I didn't recognise this voice.

"Well I'm in Spoons and I have a girlfriend called Jasper and we live in the United Kingdom. We love each other very much........"

"Bellarina I thought we were going to run away and get married In Vegas. With the dolphins."Emmett shouted across the room at her

"Baby, we are still getting married. But I have to tell Jasper. Luckily he can't hear us right now."

Jasper grabs the phone from my hand.

"Bella. This is Jasper. Where....."

He was cut off by a high pitched scream.

"I love you Edward."Alice screamed into the phone. I pulled the phone from my ear. Jasper quietly whispered in my ear. "They have us confused what's going on?"

Bella's phone was yanked out of her hands and the stranger spoke to us.

"Hello, who is this. This is the PC Greene. We have your friends in custody they appear to have gone on a pub crawl. Are you related to Jane, Tiffany and Bree."

"As in the cheese!"Shouted a drunken Emmett. Who the hell are they. Thats was definitely Bella, Alice and Emmett.

"You do mean Bella, Alice and Emmett don't you."

"Hey, whatever you wanna call them I've had so many names today its hard to remember mine."He sounded exhausted.

"Anyway can you come and get them before they cause any more trouble."

20 minutes later. Jasper and Edward have arrived in the police station.

Bella POV

"FIGHT FIGHT FIGHT FIGHT". This is so much fun. Bree is picking on some guy and it started a fight. The chimpanzees in police uniforms are still trying to break it up.

Jasper and Edward walked through the door and Bree looked up. The guy in a headlock. He saw who they were and floor. The Pc unlocked the door. And I ran to Edward. Alice ran to Jasper. Our hug was uncomfortable so I looked up into his face. I swear when he left he was shorter than this. And had bronze hair.

"Edward I missed you so much."

"uhh, Bella love, I'm here." I stared at him confused. How could he be at two places at once? I recognised his face but I couldn't quiet place it.

"Are you sure your Edward?" He nodded. I released the man I was hugging and Alice did the same. I ran to him and hugged him.

When we got outside Emmett and Alice made a break for it. Jasper close at their heels. Suddenly the ground disappeared from under my feet. Edward was carrying me to the car to make sure I couldn't follow Alice and Emmett. We arrived at the car and he shut me in the back seat.

"You should sleep love, I'll be right back."

The locks clicked locked next to me and I lay down across the seats. I didn't know how much time passed but I kept hearing noises and I freaked myself out and decided to make a break for it while I still could.

Alice POV

I was running away from Jasper. I wanted to be freeeeee. Not that it mattered anyway. Suddenly a great grey building caught my eye. More importantly the rows upon rows of windows. What really caught my eye was the massive sign that stated my favourite thing in the world. Designers Mall.

Emmett POV

Ohhhh clothes. A mall. Wooo.

Jasper POV

I saw that Alice had stopped and was staring at an Oh No a mall. Please O please don't let her break in. Please if there is a god Please.

Edward POV

Alice was going crazy right now. Her thoughts were screaming about shopping. Oh no theres no going back now. I guess she found the mall.

Bella POV

Alice was sooo predictable and everyone was following her. I don't need to be a physic to know that Alice would follow the clothes. And at that moment the clothes were leading her towards the massive building in the horizon before me. The Mall. This is war!! They won't take me alive.


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2

Bella POV

When I first entered the mall it was pitch black and with my human eyes I couldn't see a god damn thing. I stumbled around for a light switch and tripped over the air AGAIN only to not land on the fall but to fall through a pair of swinging doors into a pile of soft fabric. I got up again and started stumbling around like a drunken lunatic but then again I guess I was a drunken lunatic. I burst into giggles, I wasn't looking where I was going and banged straight into the wall onto the floor. Ow that was going to hurt in the morning.

Emmett POV

I was wondering round the dark mall. This was going to be fun. Suddenly I heard a loud thud. I wondered towards the movement to find Bella lying on the ground. Giggling like no tomorrow. Wow this girl was drunk. I picked her up and placed her on her feet. She swayed and I held her up. The door opened behind me and I spun around letting go of Bella's shoulders causing her to collapse on the floor in another fit of giggles. I burst out laughing in whispers. Alice was beside me now. We each lifted Bella by her arms and stood her up. Alice giggled next to me.

Alice POV

I was wondering around the mall trying to decide what shop to go in first when I heard a thud like a body falling to the floor. I decided to go see who the night time robbers were. The noise came from inside Digby's dress up my favourite shop as of now. Hehe. I finally found the source of the noise, Bella in a heap laughing her head off and Emmett trying to help her up but when I walked in Emmett jumped and twirled around dropping Bella in the process. I walked up to them and helped Emmett pick Bella off the floor while we were all laughing. When we finally got Bella up still giggling I looked around OMC I think I JUST FOUND MY DRESS UP HEAVEN. YAY we can play Emmett Kenny and Bella Barbie.

BPOV

Alice was determined to play dress up with me. I was stumbling around in the dark to find a changing room when the lights suddenly flickered on. Magiicccc. Ohhhh scary. Ghosts must've done it. Ohhhhhhhhh. I wonder if it is anyone who I know or my guardian angel. But of course it can't be an angel because he is somewhere looking for me. After 4 different costumes Alice finally decided on a ballerina tutu and leotard. She shoved Emmett in the room after me. He only had to try one. A princess dress. Pink of course and frilly with lace. Emmett was ecstatic. He loved it.

"Look at me! Look at me! I'm Princess Emmett all must bow to me."

"Except for me." Alice appeared at that moment in a devil angel costume. Devil horns with angel wings.

"But that doesn't make sense Alice. Why are you both an angel and a devil. Why not one?" I was thourghly confused.

"Because I'm an angel on the outside and a perfect devil on the inside." She giggled and ran out towards the glass elevators. She started them and we ran to join her.


End file.
